Why is the reality of dealing with individual people in real life so different than how we feel about people in general?
Q: It’s funny, when I think about others, I feel what might be called an impersonal love, it’s beautiful. But when I actually come into contact with them, I don’t feel this. I feel barriers … and disconnect. Is it me or them? I wonder.
A: It’s not you. That love is real, and is amazing. But when you are dealing with a person, specifically, you are dealing mostly with the friction of your persona on their persona. Okay, that sounds really odd, so perhaps I should rephrase that.
Love is smooth and flowing and penetrating. Personas have a lot of mechanical moving parts (literally) and are made up of lots and lots of armor and hooks and even more defensive mechanisms. Think of squid ink and booby traps.
Plus, real people are riddled with various parasites and sometimes worse. It’s just the way it is.
So here you are in your happy place, all bursting with impersonal love, Love with a capital L. And along comes some sleepy head who immediately throws up their persona, with all its grotty machinery, and perhaps there is a parasite or two that comes out to feed.
Also, I’ve found that people get really, really uncomfortable in the presence of unconditioned Love. In tiny doses, it’s okay, but if you just let them have it…that’s not going to fly. They attack you. They run and hide. They feel…and this is so weird…inferior. They become suspicious. They think you are hitting on them (you don’t know how many men have gotten the wrong idea, and how many women have felt the need to blurt out that they are not lesbian. And here I am, totally celibate!). A person’s capacity to acknowledge and be in the presence of unconditioned love is extremely limited.
But don’t let that stop you. Stay with that Love, and don’t worry about the reality of actual, living people. The Love feels like it’s directed at people, or humanity, but really it’s just for you. When you accept it to the point where you can see and know that you are that Love, not that it’s something separate from you that fills you, or that you experience, then you’ve hit your home run. YOU ARE THAT LOVE.
And then, the real secret is that you are also something beyond that love. Way beyond it. But I’ll see you when you get there!