Taken at my flat in Bordeaux

Inedia And Awakening

Sudden enlightenment can bring on a host of Siddhis you may have heard nothing about.  I suddenly became an inedic, which some people refer to as Breatharian, or living on light or prana.

Some people work very hard to achieve this state, but if, like me, you haven’t, then it can be quite unsettling, not to mention socially awkward.  If you experience sudden enlightenment, you may be very unprepared.

People often covet the profound shift of consciousness, but it’s not always easy to go through such changes, is it?

When it happened to me I spent a lot of time online. I did find some useful information, but sadly the majority of it seemed to be a little crackpot and suspect.  For instance, I went through an intense period of around two years when I could not eat during certain hours.  I ate once a day, and if I tried to deviate from that, I would get violently sick.  My body would just reject the food immediately and without prejudice.  I once tried to sneak a pear, which very quickly was renamed The Punishing Pear due to the dramatic effects that shortly followed.  At dinner time I would suddenly be gripped with the overwhelming desire to take a brisk walk, and I realized that this was my way of getting myself to be outside and breathe deeply.  I was completely nourished by the breathing, but it had to be fresh outside air and it had to be after the sunset.  Don’t ask me why!  But that was what worked.  So rain or shine, I went out after the sun completely set and took my brisk walk, to eat the air, as it were.

The more I did this the less I wanted to eat.  I did not waste away nor lose any energy.  In fact, the less I ate, the more energy I had.  I had the distinct feeling that my digestive organs, relieved of the constant need to process dense material, were actually shifting into a different kind of processing.  It was as though the organs have two functions, depending on the circumstances and whether or not the second functions get triggered. I have been hypoglycemic all my life, and suddenly it was gone. I had my one meal at midday and was perfectly fine.

When I tried to find some answers online, I came across the dubious Breatharian movement, but people have died attempting this.  I was hoping to find accounts of people to whom this just happened, unbidden, rather than people who are trying to achieve this state.  I found some saints and yogis, most of them long dead, who supposedly lived without eating food.  It was not very helpful.

As time went on I felt less of a need to eat anything.  I considered giving up my midday meal out of curiosity.  A friend of mine who was living at a Tibetan monastery in India told the abbot about my situation. The abbot was shocked that a westerner was experiencing this and asked many questions about my spiritual practice.  When he learned that this was spontaneous and that I had no practice, he was amazed.  Apparently there are very high level Tibetan meditators who strive to achieve this state, and some do reach it after much effort.  But he informed me that if I stopped eating for a long time, as a way of life rather than a fast period, I would no longer be able to eat again. He said the meditators get around this by administering oily enemas from time to time.

Well, needless to say, I kept eating.  The oily enemas really didn’t appeal!  I can’t be the only person who has had this experience spontaneously. The abbot said the meditators that worked to achieve this state did so because, by not needing to digest food, they could reach much deeper states of meditation.  It sounds odd.  The Buddha nearly starved himself to death and that was not what awakened him.  But there are no rules, no formulas.  It’s facile to think: if the Buddha fasted and nearly starved, then how can other meditators stop eating and simply shift into a different state of physical maintenance?  There is nothing concrete here.

On a completely mundane note, it was very hard on my social life.  Until then I was constantly entertaining at my house.  I loved to cook and had dinner parties or Sunday brunch every week.  People stopped inviting me out, which is understandable because I don’t eat at night.  My closest friends would sometimes meet me at a place where it would be acceptable for me to just have tea, which was very considerate, but there are few places like that.

But it upset most people, more than I could understand. They seemed really offended by my not eating.  Of all the strange things that were happening, I would not have expected becoming inedic to be on the top 5 list of things that upset other people.  But there you go, you never know how any of this will play out.

I really wished I could eat and continue to enjoy my social life, but it was not a choice at that point.  I didn’t know where things were going then, and everything was moving so quickly and dramatically at that time. This went on for two or three years.

Now I am perfectly fine with it.  I can eat at night if the situation calls for it, but I prefer not to.  And I’m more comfortable just saying I don’t eat at night, and letting people react however they need to.  Some people don’t care, some find it curious and some people seem to be offended by it.

image: taken in my Bordeaux kitchen


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9 comments

  1. David Yates says:

    hi there .my name is dave.you have found one experiencing something very similar.bless you in your walk forward.giants climb giant stairways.then stand at the top in awe of the achievements undertaken.
    this is how i feel.like im climbing a stairway of ever increasing intensity of task.in putting each task behind me.i get a new level of consciousness and understanding.
    bless you in all goodness. dave

  2. Rainbow says:

    Hello, I had an awakening 4 years ago and ever since then food has been affecting me in ways that I don’t appreciate. I love food and I find now it doesn’t like me so much. Been trying to avoid it but it backfires. I discovered with fasting and mediation I will go all the way back to source, as in turn my body to light and leave this plane.

    • 21st Century Bodhi says:

      Hi Rainbow,

      Exactly! I almost went rainbow body, which is having your body translate to light…then, poof. Gone. From this dimension, anyway. But I still had a commitment to fulfill here, so I had to slow down that process. The only way I knew how to do that was to take in dense matter, and so I ate once a day and refrained from any spiritual “practices”. It’s a blunt tool, to be sure. There may be better ways to do it, but I’m not aware of any.

      If there is some reason for you to be here, then you will find a way to stay. If there is nothing holding you here, then you can take your foot off the brakes, so to speak. Just make sure your affairs are in order, because it could happen very quickly once you let go of any attachment to being here or not being here. It’s not about trying to leave, there is no effort required. It’s about radical neutrality…the momentum will carry you when you drop all resistance.

  3. Rainbow says:

    When I had my awakening I was told I didn’t need anything here anymore. I feel like I’ve been trying to find reason to stay and even wanting to at times but this pull is so strong. I have zero clue WHY. I never desired to leave this plane at all. But with resistance has seemed to cause suffering, and then the desire to leave, and the cycle continues. Wow it’s so great to know someone else that understands this!! Thanks for the comment.
    I also quit doing spiritual practice, except I need meditation to center sometimes. But yoga, etc. Made me too “high.” One yoga class put me into that state of complete detachment.

  4. Rainbow says:

    Awesome reply. Thank you. I remember coming here through a shooting star(ie start dust). I have experience everything from telepathy to being a medical intuitive to teleportation. I have memories of past lives but not sure they are mine. I seem to intuitively know how to do many skills. I have been trying to play with mastery and totally embracing this life but that detachment feeling comes anyway, all the time, even if i eat pizza , but it comes with joy and love. So yes it is expanding energy that i will leave here and i will inevitably depart when i let it go all the way. That is what i see/feel. So will people like us keep coming here and doing this over and over? Do you think every soul will eventually evolve to this level of mastery?

    Nice to know I’m not alone thank you.

    • 21st Century Bodhi says:

      Rainbow,

      You are welcome. So long as you are “here”, feel free to check in and let us know how you are getting on.

      As for other souls, I’m not really sure what a soul is. Only a very small part of us is ever physical, we are always mostly non-physical. And while people do have something that is often referred to as a soul, that’s also not the whole of their non-physicality. I avoid getting caught up in any idea of evolution or progress. That requires time and time is only a device for experiencing a particular kind of reality, not reality itself.

      If by “people like us” you mean beings from other dimensions that come here in freedom rather than being pulled back into incarnation through the gravity of karma, yes…people like us will come here. There are all kinds of experiences that are unique to this dimension of reality, there is a dynamism here that does not exist in the tranquility of what some people call “higher” realms, but really it’s just a different density/frequency. There is no ladder to climb, and all is equal, yet different.

      Imagine a person who is really wealthy: private jets and servants and total convenience and comfort. That is their daily life. Now, imagine this person putting some freeze dried food, water purification tablets, a flimsy little tent and a sleeping bag into a backpack. They are dropped off at the edge of an immense forest and they carry all their basic needs on their backs and walk all day, setting up camp at night. They are cold, they eat crappy food, they can’t take a hot bath and they are all alone. The next day they pack up and continue walking and do this all over. They do this for ten days, and they call it a vacation! Being dirty, hungry, cold, having to carry your stuff everywhere, having no one to help or encourage you, having to find your way in the wilderness, the possibility of being lost or attacked by animals…yet they look forward to this, embrace the experience with great enthusiasm.

      It’s kind of like that for us. We face all kinds of discomforts, apparent danger, the feeling of being alone, having to find our way. But it is a whole different way to know yourself, and therefore to know god. If we have a mission, we fulfill it. If not, we just come to do our thing. We have nothing to gain here in terms of typical lessons, but we are nevertheless deeply enriched by our stay. And only a very small part of us is even here at any given time. Most of us is not physical. I am, for instance, still in the other dimension with my own kind. I literally sang a part of of myself into physical focus. So when I leave here, I am just removing that part of my focus from physicality. But I don’t need to go home because I am already there, and here…backpacking in the wilds of Earth. Being here does not exclude us also being there. And only a tiny fraction of us can even be here anyway…it’s too dense to hold us in totality.

      • Anna says:

        Hi Lilith, I just want to say I love reading your thoughtful replies to comments! I’d always only read the articles but today felt like scrolling through.

        You talk about being both “still in the other dimension” as well as here, and I am curious whether that’s something you’ve always mastered or whether it came on with awakening (naturally?) I have the same feeling, but I am not able to connect at will. It has happened a handful of times (both before awakening and since), triggered for instance by certain quite specific locations, that this super-intense longing to “go home” and a very strong magnetic pull arises. I’ve never felt at home here on Earth, so it’s not a surprising feeling. At least, awakening evaporated a great deal of my emotional body (as so much of that thought-form is tied to ego… ) so this longing is not a suicidal urge. Prior to awakening, it really did come on that strongly for me, though it was very passive and non-violent, so more of a desire to fade away, to leave the body, etc. That and a real disenchantment with mankind, paradoxically alongside a profound love. A love for the potential, I guess.

        For sure this is a strange planet. I like what you said about every day breaking your heart … that’s really true. It’s painful to see what is and know what really IS, if that makes any sense 🙂

        • Lilith says:

          Hi Anna,
          I never felt uncomfortable here before awakening. From the time I was a child I didn’t feel human, and that frightened me. I mostly put it out of my mind. And I knew instinctively that there were lots of things I should never tell anyone, and that if humans suspected I was not human, they would kill me. Seriously! I carried that awareness from the time I can remember, around 6 or so. Being a little child, I didn’t think about it overly much. So I always felt different, but never like I didn’t belong here.

          Then I woke up. I felt the urge to go home very intensely. Like you, this wasn’t a direct suicidal urge, just a total disbelief that I continued waking up here every morning. How was it possible that I was still here? It wasn’t until some time later that I was able to access the direct memory of coming here and that I was simultaneously there. In fact, mostly there. A very small part of my consciousness is projected here.

          There is nothing to master, Anna. No need to connect to Home, or whatever.

          You are not divisible, regardless of appearances. You are here and there, but you are looking at it through a filter of extreme limitation. If I’m here and there, then how can I here connect to me there. That just does not compute to me. Unless you are some kind of two dimensional being, with two points on a plane or something. “How to connect me here to me there?” You don’t need to master connecting to anything. You need to expand your awareness to be able to see that there is no “space” between you and that. You’ve dissected yourself into here and there, which is fine as a framework for talking about it and playing with the idea of here and Home, but it’s just a mental device.

          There is no distance between you here and you there. Sorry to use naff science, I’m quite tired of people pulling out the “quantum” when they really don’t understand it. But you can think about Entanglement…two entangled particles don’t ask how to connect to each other or how to master that connection. Just shift your perspective and expand, rather than drilling down to the ever more specific. See if that helps. What you see is just about where on the mountain you are standing in any given moment.

  5. Srini says:

    I find myself most energetic on days when I am outdoors to catch the sunrise, sunset doesn’t have the same effect on me.

    I see time and again the prana of the cook affects me more than the contents of the food. Food that I cook agrees with me perfectly, but when cooked by others it’s a bit of a hit and miss. Often I can get violently ill or severely constipated by eating food at restaurants that others find harmless. I don’t eat out much anymore which is problematic because I don’t always feel like cooking. I prefer unleavened carbs at night but anything with protein or fermented carbs for dinner makes me very uncomfortable.

    My social circle isn’t disappointed because that more or less disappeared after the awakening. I prefer being a hermit anyway.

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