Taken in Paris: graffiti, mural art

Bipolar Disorder and Malfunctioning Antennae

An Ultra Sensory perspective on bipolar disorder.

A lot of people come to this site who are diagnosed bipolar, and while I never intended to address mental illness, and specifically bipolar disorder, quite this much, it’s clear from all your questions that there is a need. I am not bipolar, nor is anyone in my family. Yet, all my life, the people closest to me (aside from family, so people I’ve chosen to be close to) have been bipolar. From my teenage years onward, people I’ve loved the most, dearest friends, lovers and spouse have been bipolar.

Why on earth would that be? An intuitive healer once said that I was a master healer, and while this was not limited to healing mental illness, I had a special connection with the mentally ill and had advocated for them and protected them in a recent “past” life. The good old days in London when they locked them up, treated them like animals, experimented on them. Sheesh.

Is this true? Who knows. What I want to share with you is my own perspective, my own experience. If you’ve read much of this site, you’ll know that I was always Ultra Sensory, but after awakening it kicked into high gear. Here is what I was able to perceive.

When people close to me were just starting their cycle, I felt it immediately in my solar plexus and sacral chakra. It felt like nausea, panic and contraction. As if I was suddenly in the presence of something malicious and dangerous. I believe people would normally use the word evil, but I haven’t quite wrapped my head around what evil really is. You get the picture, though.

This was always very, very early in the cycle. Just before even the most subtle prodromal symptoms arose. I was overcome with a powerful sense of danger and aversion, coupled with a strong instinct to protect the person. At first, I did not know what this was about. Only one person close to me at that time was even diagnosed with bipolar, yet I experienced this with my other friends as well. Without fail, they would start spiraling into a cycle, gaining momentum and losing control.

If you’ve read my post on managing bipolar, you’ll see I talk about momentum. I learned that at early stages, I could slow down the momentum if the person was in my presence regularly or for an extended period of time. For instance, if they lived with me, or if we spent long hours together on a weekend.  I could see the energy and also feel it kinetically, and was able to make myself like an anchor and hold a person energetically in place for a while. Unless the person used this respite to take all measures themselves to slow the momentum, it wouldn’t last. Once I was not in physical proximity, the effect was broken.

This was slightly draining for me, but I didn’t feel it was harmful. My main concern was that the effect could never be lasting, and once a certain amount of momentum was gained, it was not possible for me to do this without damaging myself.

As the momentum increased, the person became, in stages, no longer themselves. I know this is a loaded word and may be misunderstood by many, but it is the closest approximation to what I perceived. The person became increasingly possessed. Everything from the tone of their voice to the way they smelled was different, and different in the same way every time. They didn’t become somebody different every time, they were possessed by the same entity every time. Their own spirit, their own being, became increasingly subdued, blurred and finally subjugated.

One of the methods the entity has of gaining control is by removing support systems from the victim. It tempts them to eat things that will cause their minds to be blurry, like sugar or alcohol, or in some cases coffee. In some cases it will temp them to do illicit drugs, even for “spiritual” purposes. It tempts them to not do things that are supportive, such as exercise or meditation or being around natural anchors. Every little bit of ground yielded by the victim, having a cookie and coffee in the afternoon when they normally avoid sugar and caffeine, making that spur of the moment off-budget purchase, surfing for porn or browsing the craigslist casual sex ads, facebook stalking your ex. Any little bit of purchase it can gain, any little bit of traction, gives it exponentially more momentum. It happens really fast, partly because the victim is not aware of it happening and because the things they are doing seem relatively insignificant.

The most grotesque phenomenon I’ve experienced is actually having direct contact with this possessing entity. In the beginning it didn’t like that I could perceive it. It tried to hide from me, to remove the person from my presence. But then, when it was secure that I would not expel it and could only slow it down a little bit for a little while, it actually started to reveal itself. It would show itself to me separately from the person. What I mean by this is that mostly it manifests itself though the person’s own body and energy matrix. It is bound to this and I’ve never seen it, for instance, when the person wasn’t present. I’ve never seen it leave the person’s auric field and, say, go across the room on its own. But what it started to do was to emerge out of the person, above the person, just barely at the edges of the person’s field, so that I could perceive it as utterly distinct from the person. It says that “he or she (the person) is mine and you can’t stop me.” It says I can do nothing but watch them create havoc, for which the person, when they re-emerge, will have to pay.

Something to note, to really pay attention to, is that this entity is the exact same entity…even as it emerges out of different people. One single entity revealed itself from at least three different people in a single year. One of them was diagnosed, the others were not. At that point I told the other two to go to the psychiatrist, and they were indeed diagnosed.

Then I watched them take the drugs. Depakote first, then a cocktail of anti-psychotics and mood stabilizers. It was hard to know which was more awful, but at least with the drugs there was hope that things would get better. And they did, but of course, at a price.

All of us have antennae, which are tuned to different stations, as it were. Sometimes we are listening to lots of different stations simultaneously, sometimes we focus on one or two. Sometimes we are in meditation and we are able to retract them. Often we mistake what we are receiving this way to be our own thoughts. We react bodily and emotionally to these broadcasts. What I’ve seen with bipolar people is that their antennae are able to pick up a certain broadcast, and it allows this entity to transmit directly to them in a way that they mistake for their own thoughts. It is then able to hijack all kinds of limbic, mental and bodily functions.

When people take the drugs, what I see is that they have a powerful blunting effect on the entire system. It’s a very crude tool that has wide ranging effects, including to diminish the ability of the antennae to transmit the entity’s signal. It doesn’t stop it entirely, but it’s as though the dial is turned down so that out of 10, it might get turned down to 7, or 5. That means the person still cycles, but the extremes of momentum, and possession do not happen.

What I know about this entity is that it enjoys, even craves, being in physical form. And when it can finally get all the way in, it doesn’t just sit there and enjoy the sunset and throw back a single glass of fine red wine. It likes to act, because it knows its time is limited. I don’t know why that is the case, but it does seem to make hay while the sun shines. It likes to do stuff, mostly very destructive stuff. And while a person might go hunting for food and kill a deer, that person does not necessarily enjoy causing pain to another being. This entity, is quite different. It clearly knows the suffering the person will endure when they come out of the cycle and that is also part of what the entity either enjoys or feeds off of. I do not know if this is sport or a parasitic situation.

I’m not sure how I would feel if someone suggested to me that I was occasionally possessed by a malicious entity. I don’t personally have any existing belief in demons or anything like that. I don’t see the need to jump to conclusions. I don’t know what this entity is. But I do know that it is just one, not many. I know it is hateful, malicious and desires to be incarnate through living people. And I know it transmits to people who have antennae that, for some reason, pick up that signal loud and clear.

And now the disclaimer. I am not a medical or psychiatric professional. No organization or institution has given me the authority to speak to you about bodily or mental health. So obviously, you should not take anything I say seriously when considering your own physical or mental health. Capisce?

image: taken in Paris, street mural, graffiti

 


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3 comments

  1. Eden says:

    how do u turn the attenane off?

  2. Robyn says:

    This is bone-chilling due to the fact that I was explaining my psychological state to a friend three days ago and saying that it felt like I had a parasite growing inside of myself which felt as though it was controlling my emotions and behaviours.

    How on earth do I conquer this? Please, please, please do let me know. I am at a loss and have been for a while and this is the first thing that I have read – and trust me I have read a lot – that has stuck a chord. I am not interested in taking anti-depressants but I do want to remove this entity.

    • Lilith says:

      Robyn,
      I feel for you, truly. And I wish I could tell you how. It feels like a curse sometimes to be able to see, without being given the ability to do something about it.
      I don’t know how to remove the parasite, or whatever it is. I just see it. The only advice I can give with any confidence can be found in this post. I wish someone could explore this and find some credible solutions. I’m not against medicine, but if I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way about taking the pills.

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